Yesterday was H’s Birthday.
She’s a tricky customer.
When asked what she would like for a Birthday cake, she announced she wanted something with “texture”.
I know, I was stumped too. Chocolate? Yes. Caramel? Yes. 3lb of Cookie Dough? Well that’s just a no brainer.
Luckily, I had this bad boy up my sleeve. It’s sooo customisable (yes that’s a word) you can add as many deliciously delectable treats as you want.
Just pile ’em up!
And it doesn’t even matter if you get a bit carried away and your chocolate bursts over the sides! (Which was totally done on purpose by the way. It was absolutely nothing to do with me running out of chocolate fingers. Not one bit. Ahem.)
To start off with, you need something that looks like this little lot.
Try to go with different colours (and textures). It looks like a lot, but actually once piled on the cake, it’s just right.
Plus you’ve got to taste some, just to test they aren’t poisonous.
But more on that later.
For the cake H didn’t want chocolate, my first choice, so I went with a traditional white cake.
I say traditional, the white cake is actually a spesh of the good old Southerners from the US of A. Think Britney and Whitney.
For the White Cake:
- 390g Plain Flour
- 1 Tablespoon Baking Powder
- 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
- 225g Unsalted Butter
- 450g Granulated Sugar
- 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
- 1 tsp Almond Extract
- 6 Large Egg Whites
- 250ml Whole Milk
This cake is super versatile. It goes amazingly with Lemon Curd, Jam, anything you fancy really!
- Heat oven to 170oC. Prepare three 8-inch cake pans.
- Make sure milk and eggs are room temperature
- Pour milk egg whites, and both extracts into bowl and mix until blended.
- Mix flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in bowl of electric mixer at slow speed. Add butter, cut into cubes and continue beating on low for about 1-2 minutes.
- Add 1/2 cup of milk mixture to flour mixture and beat for 2 mins. Add remaining 1/2 cup of milk mixture and beat for about 1 minute.
- Pour batter evenly between three prepared cake pans. Bake for around 30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.
I should point out that my finished cake was only two tiers. This is because I only have two cake pans that have releasable bottoms and one very old rubbish tin that on occasionally clings on to the batter like bloody murder no matter how much I grease it.
Baking disasters like this can only be treated one way.
Whack it all in a bowl with some white chocolate icing and the toppings and feed it to your boyfriend.
For the frosting, I went with White Chocolate Chip Butter Cream:
250g Unsalted Butter
500g Icing Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
1 bag of White Chocolate Chips
1. Blend the butter until nice and smooth and the add the icing slowly (avec tea towel over the mixer to stop icing explosion)
2. Add vanilla and chips and do another quick mix
3. Apply to the middle, top and all around the edges of your cake.
Don’t worry about this bit too much, the pro’s refer to this stage as ‘Dirty Icing’ *wink*.
Just try and spread evenly but don’t fret about smooth edges, the goodies will hide the lot anyway. Here’s a helpful guide if you’re not sure.
4. Eat the rest.
(That bit is optional, obvs. But if you choose not to I would take a serious look at yourself in the mirror young man/lady)
NOW FOR THE FUN BIT.
Melt a bit of milk chocolate in the microwave for 30 secs.
Using the chocolate as a glue, stick the chocolate fingers in an alternating white/milk pattern around the sides like a delectable garden fence. Leave a space at the front for the M&M’s.
Separate the top into as many sections as you like and use more of the chocolate to glue on the goods.
Finally, pour the rest of the chocolate down the front of the cake and carefully pop on layers of M&M’s artily.
How easy was that! And your mates will be well impressed. Mine were!